My mind was in a state of disrepair at the end of October. It’s because of a man I’ve never met. It’s because of a man I hardly follow. It’s because of Tom Brady. Yes, the seven-time Super Bowl-winning champion whom most of America would love to do without.
Tom Brad
October 28th was a painful day for Tom as he finalized his divorce from Gisele Bündchen. Upon hearing the news, it became a painful day for me as well. Shock, disbelief, and sadness came and went like the ebb and flow of the tide. A week or so removed from the revelation, it still happened, with the severity of emotion intensifying and subsiding at various times of the day. It didn’t make sense; how could this happen? Both the divorce and my reaction to it.
This is more devastating than any breakup I’ve ever had. I was relieved after those. But this hurts, and I don’t even know this man.
I don’t know how. I don’t know why. But it turns out that I care about Tom Brady.
Sad Tom Brady in 2020 after the Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost to the New Orleans Saints.
Sad Tom.
WHY TOM BRADY?
For much of the American public that consumes media and sports, Tom Brady is a piece of s**t. I learned this during my time living in Philadelphia from 2013 to 2018. A city with its own set of zealous sports fans, I was constantly reminded of Brady’s contemptible behavior on and off the field, from Deflategate to that time he abandoned Bridget Moynahan after getting her pregnant (that’s not what happened, but these Philadelphians were sure of it).
I didn’t care about (American) Football or Tom Brady till I came to America. Before that time, what little I knew of him was through his supermodel wife, Gisele Bündchen. She was ubiquitous, and for some reason, I was on her email list where she’d be advocating for a greener and cleaner planet. To be honest, I didn’t care about the planet. I was smitten by her like most teenagers probably were.
When I settled down in Philly, I had to find a team to support for the sake of fitting in. I could have easily gone for the Eagles, but I saw Gisele on the TV supporting her husband one day and thought:
Oh, that’s sweet of her. Maybe this Tom guy isn’t so bad. She wouldn’t love an asshole, now, would she?
I can get behind a good love story, perhaps too intensely, and these two seemed to have a decent one going with their kids in tow. It was also a bit amusing that this supermodel was head over heels in love with a gangly and goofy-looking guy (ok, he looks great most of the time, but sometimes he does look questionable). He could barely run. It was even more amusing that my friends seemed to hate this guy. He seemed harmless. He was like Seth Rogen or Jason Segel in a 2000s rom-com opposite a perfect 10. What’s not to like about this guy?! He’s defying the odds on and off the field.
Happy Tom.
Back in the day, I remember countless insults and obscenities thrown the way of the TV whenever Brady was playing. He was the scourge of the country, and his defeat was America’s win. Just jump on Twitter whenever he suffers a loss, professional or otherwise, and the picture becomes clearer. The internet always obliges when it can take a dump on Tom Brady. When he dresses like a doofus on the red carpet. When he kisses his kid on the lips. When he goes for a high-five and is left hanging. The internet laughs and celebrates. Haha!
He’s a proven winner on and off the football field, but surrounded by this atmosphere of animosity in Philly, he turned into an underdog. He looked like a sixth-round draft pick selected 199th overall, or worse, the kid in school getting bullied in the playground. Granted, he was an underdog with a supermodel wife and a beautiful family.
But now, the supermodel wife has left the equation.
TOM BRADY UNRAVELS
It probably didn’t need to play out this way. After losing to the eventual Super Bowl winners in 2022, the Los Angeles Rams, Brady announced his retirement from the game, only to change his mind after 40 days. It was more fodder for the typical narrative surrounding him: Brady would much rather play football than spend time with his family. Fuck ’em kids. His wife would have to endure at least another season of fear and anxiety, worrying about the likelihood of concussions and broken bones.
Before the new season started, though, another narrative took hold: one of marital distress. Tom was absent for about 11 days from the Bucs’ training camp, only to return like a dead man walking. Gaunt, lifeless, and barely clinging on. Fighting to save a marriage seemed brutal. Or it might have been the stacks of divorce paperwork taking their toll. Who knows.
Skinny and sullen Tom Brady at a Tampa Bay Buccaneers press conference.
Dead Man Tom.
While the season got underway, news organizations started reporting of an imminent divorce. What? No way! They love each other. And this man NEVER quits.
On the field, Tom wasn’t having much fun either. He was argumentative and combative, getting into fights with opponents, teammates, and tablets alike. He’s falling apart. And there’s no one to help him. She won’t leave him. Not like this.
Well, she did.
After that loss to the Baltimore Ravens, a third straight defeat for the Bucs, we just knew this wasn’t normal. Tom Brady on a losing streak? The worst he’s had in years? His personal and professional lives were a reflection of each other, and something had to give. It was time to rip the band-aid (one of them, at least), and both Tom and Gisele announced their divorce via Instagram Stories, a wise decision since a static post would have been flooded with a deluge of comments, both nasty and nastier.
I read both of their announcements, and my heart dropped.
THE TOM BRADY FAIRY TALE
This outpouring of grief on my end is quite baffling. I’m not a devout supporter of Tom Brady. I didn’t watch all his games. I didn’t buy his books. I didn’t buy his merchandise. I didn’t follow him on social media until a week ago. Basically, I didn’t do much to qualify as a Tom Brady fan, let alone put myself in a parasocial relationship with him. For much of the year, I don’t even know he exists.
Mine is a seasonal romance where I tune in during the playoffs to see how he’s doing. I like seeing him win. Maybe to irk my Philadelphian friends. Maybe to see a happy Gisele and kids in the VIP box. Win or lose, they’d walk down to the field with beaming smiles, and their love for him would be clear as day. After his latest Super Bowl win with the Bucs, his daughter rushed into his arms. Still at that age where there’s wonder in everything, she points toward Daddy’s game face on a stadium screen with awe, before wanting to make snow angels with all the confetti on the ground. It seemed like a perfect moment. A celebration of his professional excellence with the ones he loved the most in the world. This is what life’s all about. To love and to be loved.
Tom Brady with his daughter, Vivian.
Family Tom.
And now, at least one person he loves is gone, and with it, the love story I began rooting for back in Philadelphia (of all places).
IT’S NOT REALLY ABOUT TOM BRADY, IS IT?
We are revealed to ourselves through our connections to events and people. I liked Tom Brady because he was an underdog, even when he was winning. But I mostly liked Tom Brady for the one thing the internet told me he wasn’t: a man who loves his family. We have no idea what his life is like when the cameras aren’t around. People assume or presume that he’s just throwing footballs all the time while neglecting his wife and kids. But what little I’ve seen of him in public is enough proof of a man who loves his family and is also loved by them.
For better or worse, we look outside ourselves for hope, believing that our dreams and ambitions might be possible since someone out there has gone on to do it. I’m not talking about winning the Super Bowl. I’m talking about being surrounded by love. If our immediate family, relatives, and circle of friends don’t fill us with the hope needed to manifest this, maybe we look farther away, turning to the people on billboards and TV screens for that extra push. At the very least, it’ll be a bedtime story to soothe a restless mind.
Unknowingly, Tom Brady wrote a fairy tale with his actions on and off the football field, making me believe that a decent love story could always be around, whether you’re a celebrity or not. Tom Brady is one of the hardest-working people out there. He puts in the time and effort for football and family, no matter what. His Twitter bio says so! It must be true. But then again, how can we know? We only know what they choose to let us know.
What we do know is that his fairy tale is at an end. The greatest quarterback of all time, living happily ever after with the most beautiful supermodel of all time (well, maybe…). He has come back down to being human. Just like the rest of us.
TOM WILL BE FINE
The stages of grief ensued after the divorce announcement, and I had questions to which I’d never get any answers. I could never know what Tom or Gisele were going through, what their fears and concerns were regarding the next chapter in their lives. The closest thing I could do to get answers would be to follow them on social media. Which I did.
For the most part, Gisele has been silent on social media. On the contrary, Tom has been on Twitter and Instagram like a man reborn. He’s doing something with an autograph company, selling stuff on Nordstrom, doing podcasts, and a million other things. Of course, he’s a consummate professional, so he could be fulfilling his business commitments while compartmentalizing his pain and anguish. But something changed after the divorce.
For one, the Bucs won a game after a three-match losing streak — Tom’s first game after finalizing the divorce. He did it in typical fashion,
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